So, it is time to purchase that engagement ring.  You have worked up the courage to finally propose.  Do you have the courage to skimp on the money and go for a cubic zirconia?  Think about it carefully; is a cubic zirconia a great diamond imposter that can pass for the real thing or is it a humiliating fake that could have the potential to wreak havoc on your marriage if she finds out?   Would she understand if you told her ahead of time?  Or will she be justifiably shocked that you would even dare think such a horrible thought?

The time has come.  You dated her, you wooed her, you learned to live with each other’s flaws, you even think the flaws are endearing.  Now, in your one final leap from bachelorhood to the grownup world of the married, you are ready to buy her “the ring”.  Now, do you realize that she has been thinking about “the ring” since she was five, right?  She has put on other rings, pretending it is “the ring”.  She has browsed through magazines when she was a teenager and had chosen the exact ring she wanted Prince Charming to romantically place on her hand as he bent on one knee.  Later, she talked about “the ring” with her friends and she browsed online for diamond rings every time she was near a computer and had a bit of time on her hands.   Let us not forget that each and every time a friend get engages, she studies their ring; either with envy or pity.

Now, you need to ask yourself a very important question.  You need to decide just how important money is to the health of your relationship and to the very stability of your marriage. Is a cubic zirconia a great diamond imposter that can pass for the real thing or a humiliating fake?

There is a very small minority of women who will say that it does not matter that she doesn’t have a diamond.  That as long as no one studies her ring under a microscope and catches on that it is not a real diamond that all that matters is the love.  It is the thought that counts.  She wouldn’t care if you rolled up a bit of aluminum foil and squished it around her finger.  She is so happy you asked her to marry you that she simply does not care about the ring.  Now, this woman is about as easy to find as a lion in the water of the Caribbean.

Cubic zirconia gems can pass as a diamond if seen from a far.  One of the main reasons that give away its secret is the size.  Because they are so much cheaper, people opt to buy huge cz gems; gems so big that had it been a real diamond, one would be terrified to walk the streets wearing it for fear of being mugged.   If a couple is living week to week, both struggling with credit card debt and sharing a car, it would seem a bit odd for the woman to have a five karat diamond ring, wouldn’t it?  You know it, her friends would know it and yes, she would know it too.

If you are even playing around with the thought of buying a smaller, less inconspicuous cubic zirconia, keep one thing in mind.  After she says “yes” to the proposal, after you both celebrate, once the lights are off and you are sleeping peacefully, one thought will come to her mind. “I wonder if he would ever dare think of buying a cubic zirconia? Is this a real diamond?”   It does not matter if you spent months in search of the perfect ring or how much she loves you.  She has no control over this matter.  She will wonder.  And she will bring it to be “appraised”.   If the ring is fake, she will tell you she did it to insure it because she loved it so much.  And you will be standing outside your home, while she throws your belongings out the window.  So, to wrap things up, if you are going to go sans-diamond: Tell her first and hope for the best.